Ledopole’s last stand

Lollin’ lightheartedly by the bubblin’, barkin’ brook, Willy Weimensheiner chased a chortlin’ Charles Childress through thistles, thatch, and this and that.

The two turbo-trekked the typically traipsin’ tree-lined trail, stompin’ snails and boundin’ over bales of hay, stoppin’ seldomly to gasp great gulps of Oregonian air. They were actively assailin’ an assignment of alignin’ with tattletale alliances by squealing on ole Leland Hale, who lived just down the road from Walt Weimensheiner’s weeny wedge of willows and weeds.

You see, somethin’ shorn Leland’s steel storm door somethin’ terrible, leavin’ smithereens and not much more. Flora Floozey, his northern neighbor, went wild with wide eyes at the sight. I declare, it was a mangled mess of metal and glass, gouging every which way while the rest of the regal residence endured immaculately as always. Odd occurrence it was.

One to wallow without fail in Mister Hale’s by and large bizarre business, Flora charged flightily off her property and propagated a press release to Willy wily as ever and Charles chuggin’ along in just long johns in the dog days of summer – Charlyne Childress sure was dumber ‘n a duck in decidin’ on dapper dress for her even dumber descendant.

“Now, you boys!” Flora fired. “Don’t you dawdle. No matter what you come across on the way, keep on a-truckin’. Tell e’rybody you see, this here recluse living next to me’s lost it. He’s shot that storm door clean off its hinges and God knows what he’ll be doing next.”

Being bumblebee boy scouts, Willy and Charles howled at the opportunity to take the spooky, supposedly spectral-surveilled shortcut through Misty Meadows. That is, until they heard undertones of Untertanng, the leery language of Ledopole, Oregon’s gloomy, gadget-gawking gorilla.

“Hypou teneu bolling, aggle goh weimenflabber reup,” it eerily intoned. “Gothma rall dallreich ling faitlah, poh qlate. Derrunt venume, ghower, draght, et une trattenlop oich weyole. Ja eshen kallindrope!”

To be continued…

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Published in: on July 7, 2009 at 5:16 am  Leave a Comment  

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