Jingle Jangle

It’s just around the bend.

A few posts back I spoke of the coming winter. Well, as we’ve seen here in Nebraska, winter’s not very punctual this year. But our strict calendar shows that Christmas is fast approaching. I cannot wait, so I’ve been playing Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas albums on repeat.

If you haven’t heard the five compilations of traditional and original tunes that Sufjan made for friends and family each year in the heart of the wintry season I suggest you march your mouse straight to asthmatickitty.com and pick yourself up a copy. For all the bells and whistles the set of five CDs come with, it’s a price fit for a tight budget.

My personal favorites are “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” and “Star Of Wonder”, but there are gems speckled throughout. As you’ll see if you place your order online, Asthmatic Kitty Records must employ Santa while he’s structurally unemployed because packages originating from Lander, Wyoming, come in a flash.

Once you’ve got the bundle of joy in your hands, tear it open, smile widely, then slap the complimentary deer, owl, and more festive stickers in a place seen by your own friends and family as a conversation starter and love spreader.

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Published in: on November 13, 2008 at 6:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

Hypothetical Fishuation

Every second that goes by slips out of your grasp like a squirming fish.

You’re out on the lake with only your rod, tackle box, and the sounds of far-off cicadas and the waves. Before you can say knife, your line gives a tug and you’re in for a showdown of strength. After some time wrestling with the persistent trout on the other end, you manage to bring that doozie into the boat.

It’s been a long day and every fish you’ve caught so far has slipped clean from your hands and jumped back into the glassy water. This one won’t escape. So you pick it up to do the necessary evils and, what do you know, but that one gives a violent twitch and does a quadruple backflip back home.

Disappointed and sullen, you decide to call it a night, but on the way to the dock, in the increasingly heavy mist, you hit a large lump. You take your oar out from underneath the seat and go to the bow of your small skiff and give the large, amorphous lump a touch test.

Hearing nothing, you take it to the next step and switch on your flashlight. Lo and behold, you have come upon the legendary “Hootie”, a nine-foot walleye that has been mentioned in the stories of men all throughout Decker county. You’ve hit the big time.

With a smile on your face you think, “It goes to show. Giving up always leads to dumb luck.”
To which your guardian angel flying overhead can only shake her head and hope that next time she can move the nine-foot walleye before collision.

Published in: on November 12, 2008 at 5:46 am  Leave a Comment