Breaking News!

In light of some horrific happenings I just received through the feed, I have to break from the norm and use a credible source to inform you about the frightening findings a team of experts in Arizona has just released to the public.

Scientists Declare Pencil Eraser Dust as Biggest Contributor to Global Warming
Firestone, AZ

The word from Arizona is that we should switch immediately to pens if we do not want to fry.

Last year, in a committee held in Washington D.C., Representative of Arizona’s second district, Hal Ardin, first demonstrated the theory by erasing the entire speech he had originally planned to give to the committee. As he swept the dust up, he yelled, “This is for your future.” He then continued, “If we don’t clean our acts up, and that includes writing acts with certified Bic pens here in our federal government, we could be facing a one trillionth of a percent eraser dust cover on this planet’s wood, cement, and tile floors in just under a billion years. That means we’ll experience an increase of one or two hundredths of a degree increase on clear days.”

Most at the meeting scoffed, not because they were incredulous of what Ardin said, but because they were choking on their saliva while dozing off. Today, the experts say we should open our eyes and be fearing of what is in store for our grandkids’ grandkids’ grandkids’… and so on.

Your local Shriner’s Club will be distributing the assorted Bic pens via a toss from their cute, miniature cars, and Carl Yastzremski will catch them at your door, then hand them to you with a smile.

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Published in: on October 10, 2008 at 4:58 am  Leave a Comment  

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