It’s a Hard Knock Life

Traipsing deliberately across the kitchen floor, in clever pursuit of his soon-to-be helpless victim, Wally was at the top of his game. This wasn’t his first rodeo, and it showed with each carefully placed step. One after another after another. Tendons taut and muscles electrified, he was ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. There was a sly grin all across his face.

The seconds pitter-pattered by, each more heart-wrenching than the last. A single bead of sweat from his brow leapt and crashed to the ground, startling poor Wally, but thankfully the wire wasn’t tripped, for the tiny insect being chased made no sudden moves. At last, when he was within inches, Wally set his final footfall down, but when his weight shifted, a creee-eak! shot down the wooden floor and spooked the spider into dashing underneath the oven for cover. Right then and there Wally fell apart. The failed attempt at snagging himself a new friend–after all, that’s all he wanted from the spider: friendship–crushed him.

He morosely clunked his way over to the couch, climbed in, and turned on the TV to numb his disappointment. An episode of Wheel of Fortune was about halfway through, and although he was three consonants and a vowel ahead of the contestant in solving the puzzle, it didn’t bring his spirits up any. Bingo was in an hour, and all he had to do up until then was run-through how he could have succeeded. Somedays just aren’t yours at all.

Published in: on October 28, 2008 at 12:58 am  Leave a Comment  

How Kevin Barnes Became Georgie Fruit and Lost Everything

Here’s a quick note about the newest Of Montreal album, Skeletal Lamping. It’s a runaway pleasure bus.

I would recommend it only to people hopped up on LSD and disco. Where Kevin Barnes, Of Montreal’s sole proprietor, intended to go with this is convoluted; it doesn’t have a clear beginning, middle, or end. It’s a bunch of small, spastic pieces slapped together like a mural painted by elephants.

At first glance, it seemed like we had another prolific son of a gun on our hands, as the band’s last album Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? and its companion EP Icons, Abstract Thee were released last January and May respectively. But, while those releases stuck together, Skeletal Lamping is on the rack, getting pulled apart from all appendages.

Published in: on October 25, 2008 at 6:30 pm  Leave a Comment  

Of Montreal does Skeletal Lamping

I will not download music illegally. I will not download music illegally. I will not download music illegally. I will not download music illegally.

I can just see Kevin Barnes (or Georgie Fruit?) shaking his head in disapproval. After the countless hours of hard work he and his creative designer amigos put into packaging, I go ahead and torrent the friggin’ thing. While it may save me some moolah, breaking laws can break a motha’s back.

As it turns out, what I missed was the chance to have one of an assortment of gifts that came with the CD Skeletal Lamping. Personally, I had been pining for that durn lamp thingamajig.

Anyway, I’ll get back to you like Sarah Palin with my two cents on the tunes. Don’t touch that mouse!

Published in: on October 22, 2008 at 4:50 am  Leave a Comment  

Apple Cider and Warm Slippers

Halloween is knocking at the door and Christmas isn’t far behind, and with the holidays comes Jack Frost, our most beloved friend here in the Midwest. While some cities may be hurting for salt, Lincoln, or at least this small square in the middle of it owned and operated by the University, is pretty speedy about clearing the snow.

I haven’t been a huge proponent of the freezin’ season, but my opinion has begun to swing toward the “Let’s sing carols and make snow angels” side, away from the “Bah humbug, get your stinkin’ spirit outta town” side. I think it’s mostly because of a couple things I like to call apple cider and warm slippers. I’ll give you all the right to use those terms, by the way.

Perhaps it’s that the relief from the frigid environs is amplified when that steaming hot goodness slides down your throat and your toesies are as toasty as can be. Perhaps it’s the genuinely happier folks you see pop up, in larger and larger numbers every day.

Either way, I’m looking forward to winter this year. Your thoughts?

Published in: on October 15, 2008 at 2:20 am  Leave a Comment  

Benny K and the Set

I had a wonderful time last night at the Slowdown. Ben Kweller played an emotionally charged set that set off more than a few love bombs for the female devotees. After the show I gave him a big bear hug saying only, “Give me a hug, Ben. It’s all I want.”

He was about two to two and a half sheets to the wind, so I don’t think he’s mulling over the creep factor of that line on the bus or at another show tonight. At least, I hope not.

Here is where I would plaster a couple pictures that I took. Unfortunately, it’s going to take me a few more tries to get my brain wrapped around this technological nonsense.

Published in: on October 13, 2008 at 4:03 am  Leave a Comment  

Breaking News!

In light of some horrific happenings I just received through the feed, I have to break from the norm and use a credible source to inform you about the frightening findings a team of experts in Arizona has just released to the public.

Scientists Declare Pencil Eraser Dust as Biggest Contributor to Global Warming
Firestone, AZ

The word from Arizona is that we should switch immediately to pens if we do not want to fry.

Last year, in a committee held in Washington D.C., Representative of Arizona’s second district, Hal Ardin, first demonstrated the theory by erasing the entire speech he had originally planned to give to the committee. As he swept the dust up, he yelled, “This is for your future.” He then continued, “If we don’t clean our acts up, and that includes writing acts with certified Bic pens here in our federal government, we could be facing a one trillionth of a percent eraser dust cover on this planet’s wood, cement, and tile floors in just under a billion years. That means we’ll experience an increase of one or two hundredths of a degree increase on clear days.”

Most at the meeting scoffed, not because they were incredulous of what Ardin said, but because they were choking on their saliva while dozing off. Today, the experts say we should open our eyes and be fearing of what is in store for our grandkids’ grandkids’ grandkids’… and so on.

Your local Shriner’s Club will be distributing the assorted Bic pens via a toss from their cute, miniature cars, and Carl Yastzremski will catch them at your door, then hand them to you with a smile.

Published in: on October 10, 2008 at 4:58 am  Leave a Comment  

Helping Out

Before it comes time to actually get to work on studying for my music in film test, which at this point is looking to be a monster, I want to jot down a note about a cause I just joined.

It’s called the Mocha Club, and requires only seven dollars a month of you. There are six different ways you can choose to distribute that seven dollars, and in all six, there’s absolutely no doubt that it can do a world of good in Africa, which is where the efforts are focused.

Here is what seven dollars can do.

It’s up to you, but I strongly encourage anyone to join if you have even the slightest inclination to.

If you choose to donate to the Orphan Care cause, you are welcome to join my team, as they’re called, by sending me an e-mail at, and I’ll send you an invite.

Published in: on October 9, 2008 at 3:36 am  Leave a Comment